Stormy Day

18 01 2010

8 days into my media/meat/dessert fast and I’m really starting to feel it.  Maybe its having a day off after a ministry filled weekend. Maybe the post conference lull is finally getting to me.  Or maybe it’s the fact that it’s raining like mad right now (by San Diego standards, it’s like the end of the world… click map for visual). But I woke up this morning and felt very alone…

The feeling didn’t go away through the day and more than ever I found myself wanting to drown out the feeling in front of the tube, stalking people on Facebook, eating my room mates chocolate, or chatting away on AIM. At one point, I was looking at my iPhone and the games that I had left on my phone from before my fast had the same appeal to me as crack cocaine.

As I laid there in bed, trying to get my day started somehow, I began to realize how much “stuff” I do to keep myself from facing my poverty of loneliness. I mean I wonder how much of my life is driven by the need to feel connected to someone or something.  The way I do ministry, the attention I give to my friends/family, the time I waste online… is it really all done to just cover up this gaping need in my heart to feel connected? Read the rest of this entry »


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Haiti Relief

13 01 2010

I just gave $100 to Haiti relief through One Day’s Wages.  I don’t post this to boast, but rather to plead with you to consider doing the same.  If you want to give, check out One Day’s Wages. I chose One Day’s Wages due to the close relationship they have to their partnered org in Haiti and 100% of my money goes toward the relief effort.  Or you can visit here to give to other organizations doing relief work there.

For anyone who doesn’t know… On January 12, 2010, a 7.3 magnitude earthquake struck the country of Haiti, just 10 miles from the country’s capital, Port-au-Prince. There have been at least 13 aftershocks with magnitudes above 5.0, according to the USGS. At least one major hospital was destroyed, and the city of Port-au-Prince is particularly vulnerable to damage due to its high population density.  Death tolls are estimated to be up to 100,000 people.

One Day’s Wages is proud to partner with World Concern who not only have an excellent reputation for their humanitarian work, but also have a strong presence in Haiti. While we’ve known about World Concern, our “interview” (the night of the earthquake) and research of their work in Haiti gave us great confidence in this partnership. They have worked in Haiti since 1978 and work with about 125,000 people. The majority of their staff are local Haitians that know their people and culture. Their offices in Port Au Prince is still standing and they are doing disaster and emergency relief work right now.  100% of donations (minus transaction costs) will go directly to the emergency and disaster relief efforts in Haiti and to support families and communities affected by the earthquake.

Click on the image to make a donation.


(text and image from the One Day’s Wages Website)


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Urbana Reflection: Modern Day Tabernacle

13 01 2010

In the months leading up to Urbana I had numerous students asking me if it was really worth $800 to go to Urbana. I remember at the time really wrestling over this question. I mean I couldn’t exactly promise that it would be an amazing life changing experience and that they would receive their life’s calling (as many students might have expected). So I kept my answer simple. There is nothing else like the experience of worshipping with 20,000 people and hearing from international speakers. Yet deep in my heart I wrestled with the question, was that really worth the $800-$1000 that my students had to pay?

I remember the night before the conference, the prayer team gathered in the dome to pray for the start of the conference. About a hundred prayer folks gathered to pray and we proceeded into the dome in two lines taking turns reading the Psalms of Accent.  The Psalms of Accent (Psalms 120-134) were the Psalms that the Israelite people read as the climbed up toward the temple in Jerusalem.

Walking through the empty dome was a unique experience. With no one in it, it felt HUGE, and I was filled with awe at how many people were about to fill this place. As we recited the Psalms, I was struck by how symbolic this act was. We were sharing in the act of preparation that the Israelites took as they drew near to the tabernacle, the dwelling place of the Lord. Read the rest of this entry »


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Categories : Ministry Update, Personal

Happy Birthday 할머니!

10 01 2010

Today was my grandma’s 80th birthday and so the whole family gathered together with her friends and extended family to celebrate in K-Town. I originally thought it would be maybe 20-30 people , but when we arrived at the restaurant it was set up for what looked like a wedding banquet. There were at least 10 tables set up and as about a hundred guests arrived I realized how popular my grandma was.

As all the grandkids chowed down on plate after plate of food, I watched as my grandma went from table to table greeting each of the guests one by one. I kept wondering if she was even going to get to eat, and later I found out that she was feeling sick… but you would have never known. I watched her joyfully visit each of her friends who have journeyed this life with her, laughing and celebrating all that they’ve experienced. It was truly a celebration of a life well lived.

One of my favorite moments came toward the end of lunch when one of grandma’s friends took the mic to pay her honor. I listened (struggling along as my Korean sucks… took me 5 minute just to type out the blog title) as she recounted how they had met a long time ago, and she laughed as she recalled how they use to make bin dae duk (Korean pancakes) together. I was most struck, however, when she talked about how my grandma still wakes up every morning for 5 am morning prayer at church. Read the rest of this entry »


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Urbana/IHOP Reflections: My Good Shepherd

5 01 2010

After a week of being in a spiritual bubble of some sorts, I admit that it is pretty hard to re-enter into the real world. My time at Urbana09 and the International House of Prayer this past week was so rich and filled with people and God’s presence. As I return, I realize that I must hold in my heart all that God has shown me and challenged me to do.

One thing I experienced this week was the richness of continually being attentive to the presence of God. From day zero of Urbana, I just had the innate sense that God was with me and leading me every step of the way. Through the words he spoke to me to the people he brought to me to minister to, He was reminding me truly that He was my shepherd. That the Holy Spirit is really living and active, waiting for me to be attentive to Him so that He could lead. Every step of the way, I gave my full attention to what the Holy Spirit was doing and continually asked what He had for me. And I just remember this sense of peace and energy I had all week. I wasn’t worried about what I was doing. I didn’t overly exert myself to pray for people or try to listen to God on their behalf, but was girded with the steady truth that His Spirit was guiding my path. I didn’t strive or push, but just allowed the Spirit to gently guide and pursue me through the week.

On the morning of my last full day, I woke up at 4 am. No alarm or anything, I just woke up and was fully awake. If you know me, you know that this is an extremely rare occurrence for me. I remember laying there, frustrated that I couldn’t go back to sleep, but just feeling this gentle peace around me that His presence was with me. Read the rest of this entry »


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“Cardboard Testimonies”

26 10 2009

This powerful rendition of “Cardboard Testimonies” was done after my Large Group talk on craving after identity. These 23 UCSD students shared about the old identities they carried, and the new identities given to them by God. Many in the audience were brought to tears by this powerful display of God’s transformative power in our community.

For an audio version of my entire talk listen to “Crave: Identity” found here: http://josephjlee.com/speaking/


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Categories : Ministry Update

REVIVE09 Video

5 10 2009

Thank you all for your continued prayer and support! Here is a recap video of all that God did at UCSD during REVIVE09!

REVIVE09 in numbers:

  • 140 leaders loving the campus through outreach
  • 15,000+ Flyers Passed Out
  • 1,600 Students Fed at Free BBQ
  • 750 Students at First Large Group
  • 34 Students became Christian
  • 130 Committed their lives to following Jesus in College

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A God Moment…

27 08 2009

prayerI want to share a cool God moment from tonight. The church I go to, Coast Vineyard, is connected with a larger group of Vineyard churches, and there is a guy in this network who is really prophetic and just hears from God really clearly.  For the last two summers, we’ve invited him to come teach us about hearing God’s voice and just give words from God to the people in the room.  I must say, I’ve never seen anyone hear from God like this guy does.  When he does ministry he receives some of the most specific details of people’s lives even to the point of naming an individual’s children! I mean he literally just seems to know stuff that he could not know on his own.  And for those of you who aren’t familiar with the prophetic, all this is done not as a show, but to remind the person receiving the word that God is with them, sees them, and hears their cries. Every time I see him do ministry, I just leave feeling like God’s presence and power is so real!

All this said, last summer when he came, he gave me some words… and some pretty detailed words at that, and honestly I was sort of disappointed.  Only about 20% of it made sense to me, and the other 80% I sort of just “put on the shelf” and forgot about.  Then this summer he came back and barely gave me anything, and once again I felt sort of disappointed.  Now, let me make clear… I don’t think we need prophets to tell us what God is speaking over us as I believe we are perfectly capable of hearing God’s voice on our own, but when everyone else is receiving crazy words around you it’s a little hard not to want the same. Read the rest of this entry »


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Our Poverty, God’s Dwelling Place by Henri Nouwen

19 08 2009

jesus-prayer-09

How can we embrace poverty as a way to God when everyone around us wants to become rich? Poverty has many forms. We have to ask ourselves: “What is my poverty?” Is it lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence? Each human being has a place of poverty. That’s the place where God wants to dwell! “How blessed are the poor,” Jesus says (Matthew 5:3). This means that our blessing is hidden in our poverty.

We are so inclined to cover up our poverty and ignore it that we often miss the opportunity to discover God, who dwells in it. Let’s dare to see our poverty as the land where our treasure is hidden.

-Henri Nouwen, from his daily devotional (click here to subscribe)

I am realizing more and more that it is not so much that I have done something wrong or that God has left me, but rather as I discover myself… my strengths, my desires, my dreams… I inevitably run into my poverty.  I run into the places of lack, loneliness, sin, broken promises, and lost dreams.  It is so tempting in the collision to wonder what have I done (or not done) to deserve this, but truly I am learning that God is actually in the midsts of my poverty.

We love to see God in our abundance, celebrations, and when all is going well, but when confronted with our poverty we seek quick solutions and masks.  We do whatever it takes to numb, avoid, explain away, rationalize, over spiritualize our brokeness; and what is most disturbing is that we do it in the name of Jesus.  We try so hard to proclaim a victorious gospel that we forget that that victory was bought by blood and we too have been called to carry a cross.

This sounds almost masochistic, but the greatest gift that God has given me during this season is the revelation of my poverty, because it is in the midsts of my poverty that I am discovering Him.  One who loves, calls, takes, blesses, breaks, gives, empowers, strengthens, empathizes, and ultimately redeems.  It is in this experience that I may not feel His presence or His joy… but I know it.  It is like a quiet peace that dwells deep inside of my heart.  God is with me.  He is for me, not against me.  I am truly his favorite one… His beloved.  And because of that… everything will be alright.


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Sovereignty and Free Will: The Radical Middle?

22 07 2009

05_Hand_of_GodHere is my unofficial entry to the “Sovereignty of God Blog Series” on the Man of Depravity blog and really my first attempt to articulate thoughts I’ve wrestled through for the last 5 or 6 years. This entry was really a comment or response to Pastor Eugene Cho’s contribution to the series (of Quest Church, Seattle). His simple but clear articulation of his view on God’s sovereignty and our free will really helped me clarify some of my own thoughts on the subject (which is usually a jumbled mess).

Here is the thrust of Pastor Eugene’s thoughts (read his full entry for more detail):

Creation is a beautiful reflection of God’s character. And in that creation, he gives to humanity what I often interpret as the greatest expressions of His love: Freedom or Free will. What’s even more amazing is that God gives us the gift of freedom knowing the possibility that humanity could sin and rebel. For me, this is stunning. In giving the gift of Free Will, I believe God actually chooses to “relinquish” power. He still remains in control because power or authority isn’t stripped away from him but in His love, benevolence, and grace, God chooses to give the gift of ‘free will’ to humanity. (An idea Eugene later refers to as “self limited sovereignty”)

Perhaps one thing I could add to the conversation as I see it is that although I do generally agree with this idea of “self limited sovereignty,” I still do believe God can reasonably in love exercise His sovereignty over our free will from time to time. Read the rest of this entry »


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