Happy Birthday 할머니!

Today was my grandma’s 80th birthday and so the whole family gathered together with her friends and extended family to celebrate in K-Town. I originally thought it would be maybe 20-30 people , but when we arrived at the restaurant it was set up for what looked like a wedding banquet. There were at least 10 tables set up and as about a hundred guests arrived I realized how popular my grandma was.

As all the grandkids chowed down on plate after plate of food, I watched as my grandma went from table to table greeting each of the guests one by one. I kept wondering if she was even going to get to eat, and later I found out that she was feeling sick… but you would have never known. I watched her joyfully visit each of her friends who have journeyed this life with her, laughing and celebrating all that they’ve experienced. It was truly a celebration of a life well lived.

One of my favorite moments came toward the end of lunch when one of grandma’s friends took the mic to pay her honor. I listened (struggling along as my Korean sucks… took me 5 minute just to type out the blog title) as she recounted how they had met a long time ago, and she laughed as she recalled how they use to make bin dae duk (Korean pancakes) together. I was most struck, however, when she talked about how my grandma still wakes up every morning for 5 am morning prayer at church.

I’ve always known that my grandma was a deeply spiritual woman. I have distinct memories of her when I was young, singing Korean hymns while cooking my favorite foods. I’ve always known that she prays every morning at some ungodly hour as she tells me every time I see her that she prays for me to meet my wife every morning (she also tells me that I better get married before she dies, but that’s another story). I’ve also been very impressed by one of her most recent endeavors to hand copy the entire Bible into journals. All that to say that I truly believe that it is because of my grandma’s faith and life of prayer that all of her children can now stand by her side testifying that they know the Lord.

As I reflected on this, I sat there with a great sense of awe and thankfulness for the legacy that has been passed down to me. I know that I am who I am because of the way she lived her life. I know that I follow and love Jesus today because of the way she prayed for me since the day I was born. I know that I am in ministry because of the way she passed down her faith through the generations. And I know that in the future when I’m married, I’m going to have an amazing wife and family because my grandma asked for it on her knees every morning at 5 am.

I have to admit that I’m crying as I write these words, because I know that as we celebrate 80 years today, we are also beginning to celebrate a life well lived. Today more than ever I wish that I spoke Korean better (my conversations with her are typically the same 3 questions from her repeated over and over again…usually revolving around my love life and me saying yes or no). I wish I could ask her to share her life experiences with me and tell me who she knows Jesus to be. I wish I could tell her in eloquent Korean how thankful I am for her faithfulness and for the legacy that she left in her family. I wish I could tell her that I see the ways she’s labored in prayer and how much I know each of those prayers have shaped my life. I wish I could just talk to her in the way that I know she so deeply wants to talk with me…

Today as we began our goodbyes I wish I could have told her all of these things, but all I could do was kiss her on her forehead and say sa rang hae yo (I love you) in Korean. And as I watched her car leave, I hoped deep inside that perhaps my deep sentiment could be carried in that simple gesture and those simple words (pronounced like a 5 year old so I’ve heard…).

As I reflect on this day I’m reminded of Psalm 127 where Solomon writes, “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of [children]. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.” The image that Solomon paints here is of a man who is falsely put on trial by his enemies, but this man has his sons at the trial defending their father’s name. It is a picture of a man who has lived his life serving his children and the people around him to the point where if he were to be accused of a crime he would have a full “quiver” or community of people to testify for his character and faithfulness to the Lord.

Today as we celebrated my grandma’s birthday, I got a glimpse of this Psalm in real life. Even though my grandma wasn’t on trial, I saw a hundred people gathered today to testify of the way she’s loved her children and the people around her. Of the way she’s lived pursuing after the Lord as a woman full of character and of prayer. We gathered to honor a life well lived and I know she was blessed by it. Truly, blessed is the person who lives her life seeking after the Lord and for the sake of the other.

So 할머니, even though I know you’ll never read this, I just want you to know that I love you and I thank you for the way you’ve lived your life. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you this myself… I wish more than ever I could speak Korean just so I could tell you all this, but I look forward to another day when we can share deeply together and commune together in the presence of our Father. Thank you for the legacy of faith that I have inherited from you. Thank you for your prayers, for the way you love me, and for raising me when I was young. Thank you for teaching me how to love to eat food and for always having See’s coffee candy for me in your purse. Thank you for never failing to send me $50 every year during my birthday and Christmas. Thank you for continually praying for my future wife… I’d like to think that every prayer you pray makes her more beautiful… jk.  I promise you that I’m trying to get married as soon as I can. Maybe I’ll even have have some great grandchildren for you to play with soon. Anyways, Happy Birthday!