Category Archives: Personal
Photo Booth…
Dear Mei,
You are about to turn 11 this month. So crazy. It feels like just yesterday I went to see you in the hospital when you were born. It’s even more crazy that I was actually the one driving the car when I went with grandma. Tonight I looked at some of the old photo booth pictures we took together. I don’t know if you remember, but you use to love taking those with me. We spent hours taking dumb pictures together. But your interests are changing rapidly as you grow up. When I go home now, instead of begging me to play Monopoly with you or to take you out, you would rather play with your other friends or watch TV. But it’s okay. I know that you need to grow up, and I’m proud of the young woman that you are becoming. It just scares me to think that sooner than later your interests will move towards boys…. DAH!
Anyways, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but I just want you to know that I’ll always love you. Every time I see you and you give me that awkward hug to greet me, my heart melts with deep love for you. You are such a beautiful, smart, and talented girl. Your smile brightens up my day, and every time you call me “goh goh” it makes me just want to hold you… too bad you always get embarrassed and squirm away. Mei, I pray for you almost every night and even though I’m not there to show Him to you, I have faith that God will reveal himself to you someday soon. I’m sorry that I wasn’t around more as you were growing up, but I hope to be around a lot more in the future. You might not want to play with me as much and you’ll probably have better things to do than to hang out with your goh goh, but please don’t ever stop taking pictures with me. I hope we have many more together in the future, in many different places, with many different people.
I’ll love you forever, whatever you do, whoever you become, I’ll love you.
Love,
Goh Goh.
On Waiting
As I settle into my annual Daniel fast (3 weeks of fasting media, meats, and sweets), I sense the Lord teaching me once again about waiting. Like all of you, there are a lot of things in life I’m waiting on- dreams, longings, unfulfilled promises. And also like all of you, I hate waiting.
In the past, focusing my thoughts and prayers on all the things I was waiting for in life caused me to fall into a pit of self pity and depression. In fact, much of my Daniel fasts in past years were spent dealing with the deep sense of emptiness I felt that I was waiting on God to fill. They were really difficult times. Times when my brokenness and loneliness seemed to sit on the surface of my life; and yet, God met me every year, reminding me that he was with me. I came out of these seasons stronger, with a more refined character, and with fresh insight on the nature of God. Through these seasons I began to see waiting not as an enemy to avoid, but as a refinement process God takes all of us through. I saw it as a necessary surgery that Dr. God uses to heal and refine broken, sinful people.
Yesterday during my prayer time I felt led to listen to “Longing for a New Jerusalem” by Matt Gilman. I’ve heard this song before, but there was something fresh that the Spirit was speaking to me as I was moved to tears worshipping to this song. The song (attached below) paints an amazing lyrical picture of the end times vision of the New Jerusalem coming down from heaven. It speaks to the return of King Jesus who will usher in the fullness of the Kingdom of God, the eternal reign of God, when all things shall be made new. When our relationship with God will be fully restored and we would know him as a bride knows her husband. When every tear shall be wiped from our faces, and there will be no more pain and suffering. As I was soaking in the words of this prophetic song, I felt my soul cry, “Yes! Yes, I long for that! I want that! I wait eagerly for this! Come King Jesus!” It was one of the most intense desires of longing and wanting I’ve ever experienced. For a brief moment, all of the other things I’ve been waiting for paled in comparison to waiting for His return.
And then it hit me. Read the rest of this entry
It’s Been Awhile…
It’s been awhile since I posted on this blog. As I transition into a new season of life and ministry, I’m going to re-attempt to update this blog regularly. Anyways, so much as happened since my last post, so I hope this will give you a glimpse of all the crazy transition I’ve been going through.
In short, what’s new in my life can be summarized in four words:
job…
I feel SO blessed as I think about the fact that I’ve been working for the past two months. After only a month of job searching, God provided me with a half-time job that will allow me both go to school and do a church internship. I’m the Marketing and Resource Manager for ACCION San Diego, a secular nonprofit providing resources and micro-loans ato San Diego business owners who don’t qualify for traditional financing. This job is so much more than just a source of income, but an opportunity to really explore and learn what it means to live missionally in the workplace. I believe God is going to use my time with ACCION to teach me how to reach the lost and bring revival in cubicles. My time here so far has not only been meaningful, but super fun as I’ve built some good relationships with my co-workers.
…school…
One of the main reasons I left InterVarsity Read the rest of this entry
