Blog Archives
On Busyness
Busyness. It’s kind of like a predator that stalks you late into the evening. You don’t realize its there. You go on walking like everything is fine. Then, just as you begin to fatigue, it pounces on you for the kill. You can’t escape its grip because you’ve made too many commitments to too many people. And slowly, ever so slowly, you feel life leave you. What was once an exciting adventure into the unknown feels like daily grind with no end in sight.
Am I exaggerating? Perhaps. But when busyness hits it can certainly feel that way (for an F that is… not sure how Ts process it). I was doing so well this quarter. Sure, I was already busy last quarter, but I made it through without too many scratches. So I thought I could handle more this quarter. Three classes became four. 20 hours of work became 30. I took on new projects at church. Teaching engagements, weekend conferences, more meetings, exciting projects at work- all amazing opportunities that I picked up like a fat kid in the candy store. Seemed like a good idea at the time. That is until the belly ache hit.
Well it hit today. Read the rest of this entry
Urbana/IHOP Reflections: My Good Shepherd
After a week of being in a spiritual bubble of some sorts, I admit that it is pretty hard to re-enter into the real world. My time at Urbana09 and the International House of Prayer this past week was so rich and filled with people and God’s presence. As I return, I realize that I must hold in my heart all that God has shown me and challenged me to do.
One thing I experienced this week was the richness of continually being attentive to the presence of God. From day zero of Urbana, I just had the innate sense that God was with me and leading me every step of the way. Through the words he spoke to me to the people he brought to me to minister to, He was reminding me truly that He was my shepherd. That the Holy Spirit is really living and active, waiting for me to be attentive to Him so that He could lead. Every step of the way, I gave my full attention to what the Holy Spirit was doing and continually asked what He had for me. And I just remember this sense of peace and energy I had all week. I wasn’t worried about what I was doing. I didn’t overly exert myself to pray for people or try to listen to God on their behalf, but was girded with the steady truth that His Spirit was guiding my path. I didn’t strive or push, but just allowed the Spirit to gently guide and pursue me through the week.
On the morning of my last full day, I woke up at 4 am. No alarm or anything, I just woke up and was fully awake. If you know me, you know that this is an extremely rare occurrence for me. I remember laying there, frustrated that I couldn’t go back to sleep, but just feeling this gentle peace around me that His presence was with me. Read the rest of this entry
On God’s Presence
Some have complained already that my post yesterday was too dark and scary. I still stick to my initial thought that the film presents a reality that we often try to avoid and ignore, but oh well… keep taking that blue pill.
Anyways, on a more hopeful note, I’ve been reflecting on the value of the presence of God. I’ve often said that being in His presence was really important to me. I’ve led worship for years saying that I want to “experience” or “enter” His presence. I’ve prayed time and time again for his presence to fall. And how did I know I was in His presence? Well for most of my Christian journey I knew by feeling an emotional connection or a “spiritual high.” You know the one you get when you go to a fun praise night or a retreat. That emotional feeling of joy, excitement, and conviction. Or perhaps God’s presence means bawling during an intense prayer meeting or feeling “filled with the Spirit” to do ministry. And so certainly when things are depressing and ministry is failing it means that I’ve somehow run away from Him or that His presence has left me right? I mean there has to be more to it, and God has continually been expanding my view of what it means to abide in Him. Read the rest of this entry
